


When you let her go

by reyswriting



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, L-Corp (Supergirl TV 2015)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:55:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28732299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reyswriting/pseuds/reyswriting
Summary: warnings: emotions, feelings, unknown requitted love, alcohol use, symptoms of depressionsomeone needs to give these two a hug
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Kudos: 40





	When you let her go

How do you love someone so hard it hurts?  
How do you love someone to the point where they become your weakness?  
How do you love someone so much you never tell them?

That's what Kara thought, sat, alone, on her bed. She was no longer afraid of Kryptonite, resigned to the effects it had on her. She knew she couldn't change it so when she realised that she was in fact in love with Lena she'd hidden it. She'd pushed it so far down, she'd used lead boxes and titanium chains and told herself that if Lena could go cold over emotions then she, Kara Danvers, Kara Zorel could do so too. 

She'd lied to herself.

Lena wasn't some schoolyard crush that could be stamped on and forgotten about. Lena wasn't Lucy or any of the other girls Kara had kidded herself out of telling. Lena was Kara's light when she didn't have any left. Lena was the rainbow after a storm. Lena was Kara's everything. So when Kara decided to switch off these feelings she changed. 

She stopped doing the things she loved. She stopped running around the apartment singing ABBA. She stopped dancing. She stopped smiling as she ran into the DEO with a villain under each arm. She stopped going to the DEO. She stopped leaving her bed. She stopped eating. She stopped having hope. And little by little over the course of two months Kara went from being this bubbly, enigmatic person to being completely unrecognisable. Kara faded as she slowly turned off everything that made her Kara. 

And soon she would just sit alone in her bed for days, just doing her work. She would work well into the night on stories, never once touching the endless pile of potstickers that Lena had left in front of her door religiously. Kara didn't even know they were there. 

Alex would call by but the door would never open. Kara not only shut her emotions out but she shut everyone out, deciding that loneliness was better than loving someone who she thought could never love her back. 

Brainy would stand outside every now and again but never had the courage to knock. Nia stopped using her powers as all she could see was this mass of darkness enveloping and slowly eating Kara from the inside out until there was nothing left but an empty shell. Kelly went round a few times, but quickly got the message to stay away after standing at the door for half an hour when Kara had shouted coming. J'onn looked into her once before being quickly expelled the second she realised.

Little did Kara know that when she did this Lena finally broke. 

Kara had been Lena's hope. Kara had been the light at the end of the tunnel. Kara had been the one that Lena loved. Without Kara, Lena wasn't Lena. 

Lena started drinking more and more. She held her drink well, you'd never know that she was drunk unless you were close to her or you ended up on the wrong end of her tongue. Lena stayed in her office all day and all night, only venturing out to buy Kara some Potstickers in the vain hope that one of the boxes would have gone from her front door. Lena started to go and the once vivacious, light of the party now spent most of her time sat on the couch in her office with a scotch in one hand and her phone in the other, praying that Kara would call.

In those two months her heart had iced over and her soul had been ripped out. At first she cried but by now she'd gone numb, shut down from overdrinking and the overwhelming sadness of losing the one person, the one thing that she loved unconditionally.

That night, in the middle of January, with rain lashing down outside and a shared feeling of misery they looked at the matching photographs Kara had got developed a few years ago and the smallest amount of pain washed over them and at two forty three am a single tear fell down their cheeks as they slowly started to feel again.

Lena didn't take another sip of her scotch, she didn't try to numb the pain or stop her feelings like she normally would. She didn't shove the sadness back into its box. Instead she let it out. She let everything out. She let the pain of losing Kara, out and once the box had opened everything came tumbling out, tripping over itself as tears spilled out of her bloodshot eyes and down her red cheeks. And after a few hours she realised that the only thing that brought her solace was Kara. She realised that taking potstickers had never been enough. Kara had stayed so many nights at Lena's, checking that she was ok. Making sure that she slept, knowing that she felt safe with her. 

In the morning Lena left her office, she donned a messy bun, black jeans and one of the hoodies that Kara had given her for when she couldn't be there to hug her and marched down to Kara's apartment.

She rapped on the door with a resounding echo that woke the whole block before finding Kara's spare key under her welcome mat and letting herself into Kara's apartment. She walked in carrying donuts, potstickers and big belly burger and headed straight for Kara's bedroom. 

She knocked on the door asking if Kara was decent before opening the door, setting the food down on the nightstand, looking Kara directly in the eyes "I love you Kara Danvers and I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." and with those words the storm Kara had tried to hide, the tidal wave of emotions that had made no sense, the thunderous echo of how hidden she'd tried to be flooded out of her. "I love you too Lena Luthor" Kara finally said.

Lena grinned, beaming like no one could and with the glimmering eyes of a child she got into bed next to Kara and held her so close that for the first time the Kryptonian couldn't breathe. 

Lena had found her home, it wasn't a building or a corporation or an editorial. It was a person, it was Kara Danvers and the both of them realised that they had found their family in each other.


End file.
